My True Light

It seems as though reality finally boarded the plane to join me here in Moscow. It wasn’t until today that it finally sunk in that this will be my home for the next four months. This isn’t a  two-week vacation that will be coming to an end right at the point of, “I had a good trip, but now im ready to go home.” This is more or less a string of eight of those vacations. I understand that wherever you are is the real world, but humor me when I say that those two weeks getaways are like an escape from said real world. Today, it was like realizing that Moscow is my “real world” right now; and if I want to keep up the TV show theme, you could say it is like “true life: I live in Moscow”.   Insane.

What I miss more than I considered I would, is the sun. The days are short here, and the sun seems content to show itself only on occasion.  Without it, I am subconsciously aware and affected by the gray of the city. It isn’t a thought that I carry in my head constantly, but is more like a small, unseen weight that pulls on my mood throughout the day. The gray buildings, cars, and dust seem to try to shade my mood to match their color.

I started this blog last night but didnt finish. I went to sleep predicting another gray day to follow, and intending on writing about Moscow’s complete lack of  light. Leave it to the world to make a liar out of me, though, for today it was beautiful and the sun was out! It was as if the clouds heard me, and parted ways just for me. Today was our first day of class, and though it was interesting, I was practically bouncing with excitement to get out (while still maintaining my newfound, cool and collected, “russian” exterior of course).  We learned how to say “it is good weather,” and that was like dangling food in front of a hungry puppy. I had to get outside. As soon as class ended, we headed for the park and I lost my front of disinterest; the American girl in me was unleashed! We giggled and sang, and we had a photo shoot. I threw the snow in the air,  and its cool sting on my face was wonderful. Tomorrow there is little chance of another cloudless sky, but I  will be content.

Though I do miss the frequent occurrence of the sun’s light, it is nothing but a small candle compared to the light and joy to be found in the Lord. The gray shades, of the tiniest dust particles, cannot overcome my heart’s mood when it is set on the Lord, nor can the grayest and tallest of any building. I wouldn’t complain for a second if the sun were to come out day after day, but do I need it to? No, I guess I don’t. My joy is not in our sun – my joy is in the Son.

 "your word is like a lamp for my feet and a light for my path." 

       Psalm 119:105


a little slideshow :)

america meets russia

I started the day at 4am in a small house in Kenner, Louisiana, and by 7pm I was aboard a plane to Moscow, Russia. I left at dusk in New York, and after seven hours of chasing the sun, I was watching the sunrise over the Norwegian tundra. Thousands of feet below me, I could see nothing but a vast ice land, and the pink shades of the morning were streaked across its snowy canvas. I have never seen scenery more beautiful; it was a painting made possible only by the hand of God. After the calming effect of the view wore off, I became nauseous, nervous, and excited as reality hit…I am actually about to live in Russia for four months…I am not in Louisiana anymore (if i had a dog name Toto with me, I would have told him so).

First thing I noticed: how tall and beautiful most of the Russian women are, with facial expressions that appear to show interest in nothing. They seemed to have perfected the art of being coy yet confident, and it somehow added to their beauty. Me, I don’t know how to not be interested in everything, and so I knew I stuck out like a sore thumb. Shrieking and exclaiming, “I cant believe I'm in Russia! Look at all the snow!” probably didn’t add much to my attempt at blending in either.

What I am finding, though, is that even if they seem cold outwardly, Russian people are very warm and friendly on the inside. When we got to the hostel, we were immediately greeted and taken care of by the Russian students here. We have spent all of our time so far with our Russian friends, and have had a ton of crash course vocabulary lessons. We point and say it in English and they repeat in Russian…and then again in Russian…and then yet again. Today i wrote the alphabet out over and over on the chalk board. (а б в г д...) They giggle at the way I say things but I don’t mind, and I usually laugh along with them. They laugh at how many times I repeat things and how I get frustrated trying to say it with their deep accent. “are you saying a “p” or a “t” sound?” I ask them. If only please and thank you could get you through life, then I would be set. Oh, and I can say “nose” and “goodnight”. (not sure what good those words will do me). Needless to say, learning the language is going to be a challenge. My roommate is from france, so I am also surrounded by and trying to learn some French. For some reason, the little Spanish that I know frequently comes out. I guess I subconsciously group all other languages together as just “foreign”, and my survival instincts tell me to just speak something not English! Perhaps, I’m just crazy. Who knows what language I will end up speaking. Spengrussench? Probably.

The hostel is very basic and homy, and im very comfortable there. At night you can hear the wind ripping through the tops of the buildings, and am grateful for my bedside heater fighting for me. I think, though, that I am managing moderately with the cold, and it really isn’t terrible so far. I’m not suggesting wearing flip flops or anything, but a pair of long johns, jeans, a sweater, jacket, hat, scarf, boots, and gloves should suffice :). There is snow on every surface, and the pathways look like something out of a winter wonderland. Snow covered trees line the roads and it transforms the big industrious city into a quaint and cozy town. Even a big statue of Lenin was covered in snow. I must say, the man is much less intimidating with a snow hat and shawl on.

I know God has led me here, and I know he is good. I cant wait for what tomorrow will bring. Praying for home, always.

with love.

some pictures of the hostel:

    the beds are big boxes that open up with small pads on top

      hallway in the room

       the bathroom. (such tiny bath towels)

                  some friends :)

Prayers for Moscow. This was on the news this morning in case you missed it.

Russian authorities: Terrorist bombing at Moscow airport kills 35

Russian authorities: Terrorist bombing at Moscow airport kills 35

The most consistent characteristic of a day, is that one always comes after the other. Aside from their successive occurrence, nothing can really be predicted about our days.  Situations arise that you never considered or expected would, as well as those that one would never want to consider or expect. As hard as we try, and as hard as government officials try, we will never attain the level of control we desire; we cannot foresee it, nor can we prevent it. Though we may not have a controlling hand in these difficult situations, we can have a responsive one. I'd like to ask for prayers for those injured, for the families who lost someone in the airport today, and for Russia overall. I also ask that we pray for government officials, the EMTs responding on the site, and for the terrorist groups behind the bombing. I hope that anyone reading this will help by lifting up this country and its people in prayer, and by humbly laying them at the feet of Jesus. Our response to the acts of religious groups around the world, set on taking the lives of themselves and others, needs to be Christ. We need to respond with prayer and love. In a broken world, God heals and He comforts - God loves and is Lord over all countries. 


[Phil 1:27,28]


I leave tomorrow for Moscow!! Ready!


shelli.

Ive never blogged before..

I’ve never blogged before. I’m not sure why, really. Maybe because I had nothing to say? Not likely. Maybe because the idea of posting my thoughts on the web is weird to me? Possibly. Maybe im secretly insecure about my writing abilities? Who knows..

I do know why I decided to start though. In eight days I am leaving for Moscow, Russia and will be there until May or July. Im not sure yet when I will be back. A month ago, I would have sobbed like a little child at the thought of leaving soon, but it seems that isn’t the case anymore. It is amazing how much peace the Lord can bring. I am ready to go.

You see, I went on a mission trip to South Africa last summer. It wasn’t this huge emotional response, and it wasn’t a story of me falling in love with the Lord and deciding right then and there to go to the Nations whenever He asked. not. at. all. It was a frustrating trip for me. I didn’t know how to love the Lord to the point of complete abandonment of self, nor was I in the position to joyfully give my whole life over to His will. I looked at the missionaries stationed in Joburg, and I knew that I couldn’t leave my comfortable supportive bubble of Baton Rouge if the Lord willed it. I knew I loved people that much, but did I love the Lord that much? Did I even want to love the Lord that much? After a lot of conversations with anybody that would talk to me, it was pretty clear that I put so much into my horizontal relationships that I completely neglected my vertical one. The interesting thing ive learned about relationships over the course of the past few months is that my horizontal relationships need to be an overflow of my vertical one. Loving, solid relationships with people need to be an overflow of a loving, solid relationship with God. So, I set out to fix this. My immediate practical solution = get in the word. When I got home that summer, I started in Genesis and just dug in. All credit goes to God in this, because surprisingly I haven’t quit yet. Many people know that I didn’t grow up with a church background, so learning about Abraham, Noah, and Moses, and seeing Gods perfect and beautiful plan in action has been huge in my life this past semester. I am just starting 1Samuel and still have so much to learn..I cannot tell you how excited I am to see where God leads me in this journey. It is clear that He has been preparing me to go before I even knew I was going. Blows my mind.

Needless to say, my love of the Lord wasn’t a big, instant response. It grew as my understanding of His story grew. I soon knew in my heart that I needed to leave for a longer period of time. To me, that looked like a summer mission. Glamorous right? Giving my summer up to proclaim the gospel to some unreached people group? Yea sign me up! (talk about pride. agh.) So, I started looking for summer programs. My plan, of course, was not His. He plopped the study abroad Russia program right into my lap, and I tossed it right out. A whole semester in Russia? Heck no. This isnt’t technically even a mission trip, it’s a whole semester, and its cold. I was not going.. (let me remind you that I am leaving on this excursion in 8 days haha) After a lot of ups and downs, which I wont get into, I finally came to love the plan He put before me and found peace in going to Russia. God doesn’t just call us on “mission trips”. Life, in the name of Christ, is missional. It isn’t about being able to say that I went on a “mission” trip, and it isn’t about sticking another “ive been to that country” pin on your map. He has come to show me that life in Him is abandonment of self. It isn’t about glamour, and it certainly isn’t about my story. It is about proclaiming His story. He gives us our relationships, and so He has every right and reason to send us into new ones – no matter where they may be.

So, now the plan is to go and keep in touch via blog and send out prayer requests and such. Who knows if I will keep up with it. I have to admit that writing this blog post was kind of fun. It bring me back, though, to the question of why didn’t I start blogging sooner? Maybe the real reason was that I was afraid to be open and honest; afraid of being myself. I never thought that was an insecurity of mine, but then again I never gave it much thought. That of course sets my mind off to pondering the cliché question of, “who am I?”… Really?? Could I have landed on a lamer question if I tried? Ha, probably not. The answer took me about a minute to come to. Last summer I would have thought for hours over this, but not now. The answer is simple: I am Shelli, I am an image bearer of Christ, I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I am His..and I am going to Russia!!!

..everything else, I don’t really need to know right now :)